Short Takes – January 2009
By PaulOkay, I’ve been away for a while. Here’s a sampling of the movies I’m seen recently.
10,000 B.C. (2008)
If you are not going to entertain us, you could at least make it educational. A feature-length version of those Geico caveman commercials would have been better than this example of under-evolved, Neanderthal cinema.
Cloverfield (2008)
The Blair Witch Project meets Godzilla. Some idiot keeps his video camera on the whole time while monsters are trying to kill him and destroy New York. Before the munching even starts, however, you will be more annoyed than entertained.
Expelled – No Intelligence Allowed (2008)
Ben Stein lets some creationists cry on his shoulder, and then he blames Darwin for Hitler. In short, this is a rancid slab of dishonest propaganda of which Joseph Goebbels would have earnestly approved.
Flyboys (2006)
Clichéd and historically suspect. At least it looks great on Blu-ray.
Get Smart (2008)
This is an above-average action comedy that doesn’t have a lot to do with the classic 1960s TV series, despite some affectionate nods in that direction.
I Am Legend (2007)
This Will Smith vehicle begins with a neat premise and starts strong before degenerating into a series of noisy, hollow action scenes.
Hancock (2008)
This Will Smith vehicle begins with a neat premise and starts strong before degenerating into a series of noisy, hollow—Whoa, talk about déjà vu!
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Nineteen years and this is the best story they could come up with?
Shine a Light (2008)
In concert, the Rolling Stones can still rock the house. The lesser-known chestnuts and covers are played with passion, but after forty years classics like “Satisfaction” are starting to sound hollow and forced.
Plus, at his age, Keith Richards looks less like a guitar god and more like a bag lady. Ditch the head scarves, Keith!
X Files – I Want to Believe (2008)
I want to believe that Chris Carter, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson can make a better movie than this. I pretty sure they can’t make it worse.
Vantage Point (2008)
Take a mediocre season of 24 and edit it down to ninety-minutes. It would probably still be better than this.
About the author:
Paul's cat has violent mood swings between ennui and apathy.
Sounds like you need to be more discerning in your movie watching!
I agree with you 100% about vantage point. I actually turned the movie off, I felt like I was wasting time. I NEVER TURN A MOVIE OFF! So it was actually THAT bad!