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These are the posts for the month of March in the year 2006 of the common era.

Cinderella Man (2005)

Thursday, March 30th, 2006

There’s still some juice in these legs, and I can still take a few. Baby, please. Just let me take ‘em in the ring. At least I know who’s hitting me.

Ron Howard has a reputation for excessive sentimentality in his films. I’ll reserve judgment on whether this is deserved for another time, but if it is true, Howard was the perfect director for Cinderella Man. This mostly accurate story of real life boxer James J. Braddock (Russell Crowe) needs a filmmaker willing to yank on the heartstrings like a team of Clydesdales. This film is so consciously old fashioned that it really ought to have been filmed in black and white in the old 4:3 Academy aspect ratio.

Cinderella Man

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Director:  | Released:  | 144 min. | Rated:  | Genres: 

Paradise Now (2005)

Thursday, March 30th, 2006

That’s no sacrifice. That’s revenge.

The suicide bomber has to be the most impenetrable enigma to the western mind. I don’t think we can even comprehend the idea of a young person, presumably healthy in body and mind, purposely throwing away his or her life just to kill a few people who are often not even a party to the conflict in which the bomber is engaged. We can wrap our brains around the concept of a soldier sacrificing himself as he runs up Omaha Beach into the teeth of a German machine gun nest, but there are two key differences. One, his death is not the goal but just a consequence and, two, the people getting killed on the other side are soldiers as well.

Paradise Now

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Director:  | Released:  | 90 min. | Rated:  | Genres: 

Flightplan (2005)

Tuesday, March 28th, 2006

It’s not very funny, but at 30,000 feet you can’t just get up and walk out of the theater.

It’s not so unusual to find that Jodie Foster is the smartest thing about one of her own movies. Even when she’s slumming for a paycheck like she is in this potboiler, she projects a level of intelligence that often makes the film seem better than it really is.

Flightplan

Thus, it’s no surprise that Ms. Foster is the smartest thing about Flightplan. Sadly, that’s really no accomplishment, since the seat cushions on the airplane set are smarter than this simple, linear but mind-blowingly illogical rift on Hitchcock’s The Lady Vanishes. If a person had the same level of brain activity found in this script, he or she would be harvested for organs before the doctors pulled the plug. (more…)

Director:  | Released:  | 98 min. | Rated:  | Genres: 

The Ten Commandments (1956)

Sunday, March 26th, 2006

So let it be written, so let it be done.

There has to be some degree of irony to a film called The Ten Commandments, since one of those commandments says “make no graven images,” and this film does sort of count as one long graven image. Or am I completely off base?

The Ten Commandments

Either way, this is one of those completely “review-proof” films, where any attempt to analyze or criticize it as you would a normal film. For people who love this film, the basic standards of filmmaking are utterly without relevance to their enjoyment of it. Sure, by our definition of what constitutes a good movie, impresario Cecil B. DeMille’s biblical epic is an overacted, overwrought potboiler, but saying so leaves you feeling like a spoilsport, if not a bloody heathen.

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Director:  | Released:  | 220 min. | Rated:  | Genres: 

De-Lovely (2004)

Friday, March 24th, 2006

Never open on a ballad. Never end on one, either.

The good news is that, even if De-Lovely’s narrative were completely missing in action, it would still be worth a viewing for its first-class productions of Cole Porter’s music, featuring performances by several contemporary artists like Alanis Morissette, Sheryl Crow, Diana Krall, Elvis Costello, and Natalie Cole. The even better news is that the story of De-Lovely, tracking the last fifty years of Cole Porter’s life, is also worth your attention.

De-Lovely

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Director:  | Released:  | 125 min. | Rated:  | Genres: 

Adaptation. (2002)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2006

Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head.

I was sorely tempted to let my imaginary twin brother, Larry, write this review, but he was partaking of one of his many philanthropic pursuits, leading a deer hunting trip for a group of kids from the Braille Institute, and hasn’t been seen since.

Adaptation.

Adaptation has a great deal in common with the other Charlie Kaufman films, mainly in how it plays with reality like your cat played with that gopher it caught in the back yard. While it’s “officially” based on the non-fiction book The Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean (Meryl Streep), the movie is actually about Charlie Kaufman’s unsuccessful effort to write a usable script from the book, as well as about the author’s relationship with the subject of the story, a self-styled botanist named John Laroche (Chris Cooper). The other storyline revolves around Charlie’s fictitious twin Donald and his attempt to become a screenwriter like his brother.

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Director:  | Released:  | 114 min. | Rated:  | Genres: 

Wimbledon (2004)

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006

Remember how I told you that tennis was a gentleman’s game? Bollocks.

Wimbledon starts with the premise of what could be an interesting sports movie, but wastes that potential on a by-the-numbers story that draws its many clichés from two separate genres that abound with them, the romantic comedy as well as the sports movie.

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Director:  | Released:  | 98 min. | Rated:  | Genres: 

Garden State (2004)

Saturday, March 18th, 2006

I can’t believe you’re not really retarded.

Garden State is a charming, if imperfect, film that at least proves that, when not saddled with George Lucas’s leaden dialogue, Natalie Portman can acquit herself quite admirably as an actress. This movie has an interesting point of view, sharply written characters but a story that somewhat loses its way during its meandering final third.

Garden State

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Director:  | Released:  | 102 min. | Rated:  | Genres: 

Good Night, And Good Luck (2005)

Friday, March 17th, 2006

We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.

I posted my original review of Good Night, And Good Luck when it was in the theaters last year. Now that it’s out on DVD, I hoped you might permit me to climb on to my creaky old soap box for a moment.

Good Night, And Good Luck

It’s a bit of a fashion among some conservatives to attempt to rehabilitate the image of Senator Joseph McCarthy, to portray him as a misunderstood patriot brought low by the left wing media elite. To them, KGB files that confirm the not unsurprising fact that, yes, there were actually communists in America during the fifties somehow vindicate the Senator’s methods.

Speaking as someone who does, in fact, list to political starboard, this is as bad for conservatism as it is for history. (more…)

Director:  | Released:  | 93 min. | Rated:  | Genres: 

A History of Violence (2005)

Thursday, March 16th, 2006

I should have killed you back in Philly…

I wonder if David Cronenberg was ever voted “Most Likely to Totally Creep People Out” back in high school. Certainly, as a director, the pressure-relief valve leading to the darkest, squirmiest parts of his brain seems to be stuck in the full-open position. His Dead Ringers did for trips to the gynecologist what Jaws did for swimming in the ocean.

A History of Violence

A History of Violence both is and isn’t a departure for Cronenberg. (more…)

Director:  | Released:  | 96 min. | Rated:  | Genres: